I'm giving up on you
by IrishCourtney
Summary: A short, angsty, one-shot of Piper and Alex in SHU after they first arrive to Litchfield. Side by side, Alex has a lot of apologizing to do, but will Piper listen? Inspired by Say Something - A Great Big World.


They sat back to back; the only thing standing between the shared tension-filled-air, was an eight inch wall of cold concrete. A small, rusted, metal grate allowed their voices to pass through the barrier, reminding each other that they were not alone.

"Please," the raspy voice pleaded, full of emotion. "Please, just say something, anything." Her voice continued to quiver, revealing her vulnerability. It was nearly impossible to detect, but the blonde had spent enough time with her to hear the cues in her voice, betraying every 'tough' image Alex had ever created for herself.

"You know, I would have followed you anywhere." Piper replied quietly, deep within her thoughts. Minutes, hours, days could have passed. She stopped counting after a while, rendering it pointless. Disbelief passed through her body every now and again, every time, a fresh slap in the face. The truth had yet to sink in; the reality still a faint nightmare, becoming dangerously close to exposing its self. Alex could picture the distant stare in her deep blue eyes. Her body may have been three feet away, but her mind was miles. She wanted to see the younger woman's face, study her expression, hoping it did not hold the same haunting look she had seen as they were being thrown in the small cells.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you Piper, I'm _so_ _fucking_ sorry." The tears hit the cold floor with faint splashes. Alex didn't bother to wipe them away; she was alone, no one to impress or to uphold her ruthless persona for. The tears stained her cheeks, providing small rivers of moisture to her chin. She sat on the floor, head in her palms. Her black hair draped over shoulders, providing a comforting barrier from her swollen red eyes.

"You were the love of my life," She continued on, trying to rationalize the events that led to her being caged like an animal. Her mind numb, blocking any sort of emotion other than denial. The tears were bound to come later, but Piper focused on a way to wake herself up from this horrible dream. She thought back to the day everything went down. The morning spent tangled in the red cotton sheets. Alex laid peacefully next to her, wearing nothing but a simple black-laced bra and a matching pair of panties. Her glasses sat on the wooden nightstand, folded neatly next to her phone, which purposefully set to silent. They intertwined every possible limb, wrapping each other completely, forming into one unit. Love radiating from every inch or their skin.

"I _still_ love you, Piper." She pressed closer to the wall, as if it were going to make a difference. I know you hate me right now, but I swear, I didn't know it was going to happen. I never wanted-" She cut off mid-sentence, unable to separate the emotion in her voice. Alex sighed deeply, collecting herself before continuing. "I never planned for this to happen." She shook her head thoroughly in regret. "I never meant to hurt you Pipes."

The words pierced through Piper, starting with her heart. _Sadness_. She wanted to be angry; she had every right to be furious. Alex had involved her in the cartel, forcing her to carry a bag of drug money. She tainted their relationship the moment she asked Piper to get involved, starting the end of their cloud-nine-relationship. The one promise she made from the start, broken effortlessly. She loved her none-the-less. Everything was background when she was in presence of Alex Vause. Their adventures, their chemistry and passion together made it impossible for Piper to walk away. She craved Alex like an addict craved a drug. She needed her, no amount of time together was ever enough. Alex was a constant high for Piper, always being pulled away too quickly, leaving her desperate for more.

The sadness quickly turned to anger; the woman she was so deeply in love with was the reason for her entrapment.

She hated Alex Vause; she hated her and she_ fucking_ loved her. There was no middle ground.

"Why?" Piper finally found the words to continue.

"Why what?" the raspy voiced tinted with confusion as she replied.

"Why did you involve me? We were so happy, and you ruined it. The moment you involved me, we were over. If you loved me, why would you do that to me? You put me in danger Alex." She said with conviction, passing the blame to Alex as if she hadn't volunteered to carry the bag in the first place.

Alex bit back the anger flaring through her veins. She wanted her forgiveness, not a fight.

"You fucking loved it. There were no complaints when I took you all over the world, but the moment shit got real…"

"FUCK YOU ALEX!" Piper screamed into the grate; the contrast in her voice caused Alex to jump slightly. Both women sat for a moment with nostrils flared. "You fucked up, Alex." She lowered her voice to a calmer level. "You had everything," she shook her head lightly, her eyes glazed over with a certain amount of hate. "You had me." Her jaw tensed as one small tear escaped from her right eye. "and now, now you have_ nothing_." She stood up from her seated position, crossing the room to lay on her cold, metal bunk.

Tears continued to fall, picking up volume and pace as they streamed from both eyes, running down her porcelain nose onto the thin, scratchy blanket. She sobbed quietly, only letting a few noises escape involuntarily.

Each one ripped Alex apart further and further. She felt all the strings detach, a heavy weight bearing on her heart, threating it to sink into her stomach. She was on the verge of a panic attack; the pain of hearing Piper's cry was nails on a chalkboard; it wasn't an annoying sound for Alex, it was a painfully sad sound. She needed her to stop, before she went insane. Her skin crawled, anxiety rose as she desperately wracked her brain for the words to say to make it better. It was too much, the guilt nipped at her conscious, making it hard to breathe.

"Piper, please, don't cry. I'm so sorry, please, I'll make do anything to make this better." The brunette's voice raised an octave, her own tears started to rebuild in the ducts of her eyes. "Don't give up on me Piper, I _need _you. I _love _you."

Piper's cries quieted. All at once, a calm passed through her mind, settling her shaking body. Sleep threatened her eyelids as they began to droop.

Alex voice soothed her, she wanted to feel her embrace, touch her skin to let her know it would be okay.

"I love you too." The only words she could muster, her voice thick with tiredness. "We'll get through this, we always do." She added with a soft smile. There was a moment of clarity before the exhaustion set in. Her mind was moving slowly, trying to piece together her reality. She may have been in a concrete box, but she was still with Alex. She had only been there a short time; she planned on hating Alex for the entire sentence, but once her tears were released, she let go of the same anger that had been bottled since day one. They were together in prison, at fault of Alex's career, but they were _together_. She finally had Alex's full and undivided attention, the only thing she wanted from the start. Piper smiled to herself, the situation was shit, but there was no chance she could stay angry with Alex, she could try, but it was no use wasting time. They were inevitable.

Alex's sobs quieted as well; her mind finally felt a glimpse of relief, allowing her anxiety to subside enough for her to sleep. Her breathing returned to normal, and a small, timid smile tugged at her lips.

Piper wasn't angry, at least not at the moment. They were a team and always would be. Alex sighed lightly as her eyelids fluttered to a close, she didn't bother laying on the bed, the floor was equally as comfortable.

They laid in silence together, separated by a thick concrete wall. Their love still palpable as ever.


End file.
